(via www.lawblog.de, translated by me)
-40 Rules for right Behavior during a Police Control-
1. Take a beer can out of the glove box and open it before the officer reaches your car window.
2. Ask him if he can hold the can while you’re searching for your driver’s license.
3. Forbid him to check the trunk.
4. If the officer is talking to you, pretend to be deaf.
5. Ask hin, if you could see or touch his gun.
6. If he says No, make clear you just wanted to know whether your weapon is bigger.
7. Shake hands with him, and touch him often.
8. Ask him from where he got hi costume.
9. Ask him if you could borrow his costume.
10. Ask him if he could sell you cannabis.
11. Ask for his full name. If he tells you, just adress him with his first name.
12. Ask him for a date.
13. Start to cry, if he says No.
14. If he says yes, report to his boss.
15. Don’t forget to mention you like men in uniform.
16. Try to bribe him with sweets.
17. Try to say “Driver’s license and car document” at the same time.
18. If you have to sign something, pick your nose, then ask him for a pencil.
19. Chew on his pencil.
20. Put the pencil in your ear.
21. If he gave you a ball pen, disassemble it without attracting attention and steal the feather.
22. Ask him, if has a daughter. If he has, tell him you did know his last name from somewhere.
23. Ask him, if you could wear his hat.
24. Let him explain everything twice.
25. Repeat everything he says in a low voice.
26. Talk to yourself.
27. Try to convince him of a bank robbery with you.
28. Try to sell him your car.
29. Ask him, if you could buy his car.
30. If he takes you with him, ask if you could sit in the front.
31. If you can, play with the hooter.
32. If you have to sit in the back, stroke the back of his head.
33. Make sure he wears a savety belt.
34. Apologize for not seeing the speed camera.
35. Ask him whether he is one of the Village People and where his friends are.
36. Point out to him that that you pay his salary.
37. Ask him, if he ever shot someone.
38. If he answers Yes, ask him if this happened on duty.
39. Ask for his business card.
40. Say Goodbye with a smile and smug vioce: “Say hello from me to your wife and my children!”
Great, isn’t it? =D